hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
