just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
