We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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