Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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