R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
