dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
