We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
