possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
