i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
