I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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