so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
