I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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