It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sarcasm needs its own font
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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