i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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