I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
