I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
