FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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