you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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