put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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