by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
