i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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