I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
