And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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