it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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