i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
