Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
