Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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