her vagine was all disorganized.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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