I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
