All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
