Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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