I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All the doctor said was why
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
