I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
