i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
