The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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