i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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