It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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