She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
