well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
