So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
