His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
