Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize