i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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