Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
