It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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