I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he shaved USA in his pubs
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
