This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
