i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize