ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're facebook friends in real life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My ass is underappreciated
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
