I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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