he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
