you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
