sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
