do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
