We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
