Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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