If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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