I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
