therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
