Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
