I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
