fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
