Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
