I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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