fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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