well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I want to fling myself into the sun
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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