but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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