grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
