i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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