He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
