I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
