How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
