i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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